Akatsuki Teenagers
by Sasori for Eternity
Summary: The Akatsuki as teenagers. Incredibly weird. I think it'll be a one-shot... just request what happens next and I write!


Kisame was riding with Itachi in the tank of a car that Kisame had gotten for his birthday. The radio was up and loud playing _Riding Dirty_ and Itachi and Kisame were singing along. Really, REALLY off tune. They came to a stoplight when a kid with slicked silver hair, purple eyes and a Jashinist necklace rode up to the car on his skateboard. "Hey guys." He said when Itachi, dark sunglasses and all, rolled down the window. "What do you want, Hidan?" Itachi took off his sunglasses, revealing regular glasses, which he was trying to hide. "You shouldn't do that, Itachi. It makes you look like a nerd." "Well, I'm SOO~ SORRY that my mom won't get me contacts!" Kisame rolled his eyes. "What the hell do you want? Get in." He commanded. Hidan got in the back seat of the car and they drove off.

"It's that one bitch." Hidan grumbled, putting his skateboard under the seat. "And which bitch is that? You know like, I dunno… ten THOUSAND bitches!" Itachi laughed, putting his sunglasses back on. "Change the damn station. This stupid shit that's on right now is Justin Bieber." "Kisame put your hands back on the steering wheel and stop covering your ears." Itachi told Kisame, who was steering with his knees, which is very complicated.

"Anyways, which 'bitch' are you talking about?"

"That goddamn mugger, Kakuzu! He stole my mother-fucking wallet the other day!" Hidan punched the seat.

"Well, you're broke as hell, anyways. How much did you have in there?"

"Only five bucks. I didn't eat yesterday. My dad lost his job again. He hasn't been able to keep one since my mother died.

Kisame stopped the car at the parking lot of a Mickey D's. "You hungry? My treat." Kisame said. Hidan smiled. "Starving." "Well, get the hell out of the damn car! There's no way in hell that we are going through a drive-thru!" Itachi took off his sunglasses and jumped out of the car. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a chain on them; black Goth boots that went a little bit past his ankles, and a black sweatshirt. "I don't know how you do it, Itachi. But you never burn." Kisame commented. He was right-Itachi was really pale. Kisame was wearing a white t-shirt and baggy jeans with sneakers, just the usual for him.

"Anyways, Kakuzu just pisses me off! I mean, he never tells anyone what he does after school, and no one ever sees him! I just fucking know he's keeping some retarded-ass secret!" "Hmm…" Itachi mumbled, sipping on his Coke. His glasses were reflecting against the light, giving him a mysterious look, also making him look curious, childish. "Anyways, when we go back to school tomorrow, I'm gonna teach that god-damn mother fucker a les-" Kisame and Itachi were staring just above Hidan in fear. "Goddamn, he's right behind me, huh?" Itachi and Kisame nodded. "FUCK!" "How much do you have today?" Kakuzu asked in a frightening voice. Hidan turned around; Kakuzu was the only one who could really scare Hidan. "N-NONE!" Hidan yelled, putting up his hands. "Please don't hurt me!"

Kakuzu punched Hidan in the face, knocking him off the barstool. "HIDAN!" Itachi yelled, getting down next to him. "Hidan, are you okay?" Hidan's nose was bleeding and he was unconscious. "You BASTARD!" Itachi yelled. Kakuzu kneed him in the face, breaking his glasses. Kisame watched in utter fear. 'Should I run? Should I try to help them? What should I do?' Kisame dropped his wallet in front of him. "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" He cried. Kakuzu picked up the wallet and took all the money out of it. "You got lucky this time." He said, and then walked out of the McDonald's…calmly. Kisame ran over to Itachi, his nose was broken, along with his glasses. "This is really bad…" Kisame mumbled. The cashier wasn't even paying any mind. "What do I do? What do I do?" Kisame mumbled, as he put the boys in the car. "This is bad…" Kisame drove the two to his apartment, he moved out of his parent's house last year because he raised enough money from his job to move into a place of his own.

"AAAUGH!" Itachi woke up screaming. "Wha- dah hewl ha-enguh?" Kisame laughed. "Your nose is broken. You sound hilarious. Sorry." "Gah-ammit! Awe youh fucking ki-ing meh?" Itachi yelled, holding his nose, which was bleeding. "Whe awe mah gwasses?" "Um… about your glasses…" Kisame stuttered. "Kakuzu…kinda…er sorta broke them…" "DAMMIT!" Itachi yelled, punching the wall behind him. "Dude… you're bleeding all over my couch." Kisame sighed, handing him a dish rag. "How's Hidan?" Itachi asked, holding the rag up to his nose. "You can go see him." Kisame said, pointing to his bedroom. "Erm… I can't." Itachi said, rolling his eyes. "Smartass." Kisame mumbled.

Hidan walked out of the bedroom. "Fucking Kakuzu." He mumbled "My jaw hurts…and I didn't even get the chance to eat." Kisame threw a thing of pop tarts at him. "Ta-da! Food." "Wow! Just what I wanted." Hidan said sarcastically. "Hey, at least you get something to eat at all, be grateful that I saved you and Itachi's asses back there. "Wait! What happened to Itachi?" Hidan asked. "Ogh, You knog, jus a broken nose and noh moar gwasses." Itachi said sarcastically. "Really? That's it?" Hidan asked, playing along with the sarcasm. "How far can you see?" Hidan asked, putting up three fingers. "Everythig's blurry." Itachi grunted. "My dad's gonna kill me when he sees this bruise. Hidan said, looking in the bathroom mirror. There was a huge bruise right along Hidan's left cheek. "Damn, that bastard punches fucking hard." "I'll give you guys a ride home." Kisame smiled.

"Man, I sure hope that doesn't happen again. Your glasses are expensive, Itachi." "Youh dien't hawve to buy meh some, Kisame." They had stopped by the eye doctor on the way home. "You are pretty awesome, Kisame. We owe you one!" Hidan said. "Aw, Guys! It's fine! You don't owe me anything!" "But-" "It's fine, It's fine!" Giving up, Hidan grinned. "Thanks, Kisame! You damn bastard!" Hidan playfully punched the blue guy's shoulder. "Hey! No punching the driver!" Kisame yelled, punching Hidan back. They pulled up to Hidan's condo. "Thanks for the ride!" Hidan said, getting out of the car. Kisame watched Hidan cautiously approach his home. When he saw that his dad's car wasn't there, he calmly walked up to his house.

"Itachi, want front seat now?" Kisame asked, looking into the back seat. "Sure." Itachi replied, climbing up to the front seat. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Everything. You're always there for me."

Kisame blushed. "Erm… well… you are my best friend." Itachi smiled. "I don't want to go home right now." "Um, okay." Kisame mumbled. "Where do you wanna go?" "I dunno. Just as long as I'm with you." Kisame's face turned a deep red.

"Um… well…er…we could go back to my place…"

"I'm fine with that."

Kisame took Itachi back to his house. "Will your parents mind?" Kisame asked. "Who cares what my parents think?" Itachi said, walking upstairs to Kisame's apartment. "Hey, Itachi, your talking isn't all messed up anymore." Itachi stopped to think for a second, and then shrugged.

"Anywaaaays…" Kisame said, shutting the door. Itachi took off his glasses and walked up close to Kisame. "What are you-" Kisame yelled. Itachi got up on his toes, threw his arms around Kisame's neck and kissed him. "I can't guarantee no one will find out about this." Itachi whispered after he kissed Kisame. "What was that?" Kisame asked. "What I've wanted to do for forever now. Kisame gasped and covered his mouth, as if he just realized what had just happened. Itachi smiled. "What's the problem, Kisame? I can barley see you, but I know you feel very awkward. Don't be so surprised." Kisame's face turned red. "Itachi, this isn't like you."

"I've kept my true feelings hidden.

"Why?"

"I knew that people would think I'm strange. I'm a closet gay."

"Stay here for the night."

"I will. My parents probably don't even care that I'm not home."

"HIDAN! DAMNIT! YOU GOT INTO ANOTHER FIGHT!" "No, father!" Hidan yelled. "Someone just randomly beat me up while I was at McDonald's with my friends!" Hidan's father slapped his bruise, making Hidan fall to his knees in pain. He was crying. "Father! Please understand! I don't even try to get into fights with people! I got mugged!" Hidan's father wasn't going for it. "NONSENSE!" he yelled and kicked the weak and pathetic Hidan in the stomach. "Why do you do this to me?" Hidan cried, trying to stand up, only to be slapped again. 'I knew I should have waited to come home!' Hidan thought. 'He's drunk!' Hidan started crying. 'What am I saying? He's always drunk!' "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I DON'T TOLORATE BAD BEHAVIOR!" his dad yelled.

Hidan's dad turned around to grab the belt on top of the closet, giving Hidan the chance to get up and run. Hidan ran out the door, assured he was never coming back. "Dammit! I left my skateboard in Kisame's car!" Hidan yelled as he ran down the street. "I DON'T THINK!" He then yelled in frustrated. He looked like he got in a fight with a gang. "WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO STAY?" "Hey, Hidan! What's up?" A redhead asked pulling up in his car. There was a shy-looking blonde kid sitting in the passenger seat.

"Hey, Sasori. Who's your friend there?" "Oh, this is Deidara. I met him earlier today and I picked him up. Anyways, what's up?"

"I finally decided to run away. There's no way in hell I'm going back to that house!"

"Awesome, Hidan! I would have ran away months ago, though.'

"Yeah, I kinda regret not running away, then. The old man gave me another beating again today."

"Looks like it hurts."

"Kakuzu gave me this bruise." Hidan said, pointing to his cheek.

"He got to you again? He makes me so mad!"

Sasori punched the steering wheel _BBBBBEEEEEEEPPPP!_ "Whoopse" Sasori chuckled; Deidara was covering his ears, eyes closed. "Please don't punch the steering wheel, un…" He mumbled.

"Sorry about that, cutie." Sasori said. "He accidentally blew his eardrums yesterday." Sasori explained. "They haven't quite healed yet, un…" "Um… hey, Sasori. Can I crash at your place for a bit?" "Yeah, just as long as you don't mind having another roommate." Deidara blushed and giggled.

"But, didn't you two just meet?"

"Well, he's homeless…"

"But-"

"Its fine, Hidan. My apartment is big enough for four people."

Eventually, Hidan agreed. Not because he wanted to, more of because he had to if he wanted to sleep indoors that night. "Thanks, Sasori. I owe you one." Hidan smiled as he walked into the bedroom Sasori was letting him use. "What a long day…" He mumbled as he curled up on the bed. He soon fell asleep.

Back over with Itachi and Kisame, that's a whole different story. "mmmm, Kisame, I love you." Itachi said in between kisses. "I love you too, Itachi!" Kisame pushed Itachi on the bed and got on top of him. Kisame kissed Itachi again. Itachi continued in taking off Kisame's shirt, fumbling around because he couldn't see. "Haha! You are so silly, Itachi!" Kisame said, helping Itachi out a little by taking off the rest of the shirt. Itachi blushed, embarrassed. "I could do it myself, Kisame!" "Shush." Kisame whispered, putting his fingers up to Itachi's lips. Kisame started to unbutton Itachi's shirt, and Itachi just let him.

Itachi and Kisame almost slept in when Kisame's alarm clock went off. When Itachi finally realized that the alarm clock was going off, He jumped up. "OH HOLY CRAP! KISAME GET UP WE GOTTA GO TO SCHOOL!" Kisame wouldn't wake up. Itachi threw on his shirt, pants and glasses. "MY GOD! KISAME!" He yelled in frustration, and he leaned down and kissed Kisame. "Get up!" Kisame sat up. "Okay, okay! I'm up!" Kisame got dressed and they headed out. "Remember, we gotta keep our relationship a secret," Itachi explained. "It will be awkward if people knew we were gay. You know our school doesn't go through with that stuff well." "Itachi, your glasses are on upside-down." Kisame snickered. "Don't take your eyes of the roaAAAAH!" Kisame barley avoided hitting another car. Itachi was grabbing Kisame's chest. "HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! THAT WAS SCARY!" He yelled. "Okay. My eyes are on the road…" Kisame was breathing rather quickly, probably from the shock of almost dying.

Before they pulled up to the parking lot of the high school, Kisame gave Itachi a quick kiss. "See you in second period!" He said. Kisame parked their car and they headed to class. Itachi smiled as he caught up with his other friend, Deidara.

"Hey, Dei. How's it going?"

"Meeeh. Ever heard of Sasori Akasuna?"

"Redhead and popular, right?"

"Yup."

"He's cute; at least that's what the girls say."

"He's my roommate now."

"Another orphanage kicked you out for blowing up trash cans?"

"Ha-ha, you guessed it!"

"You are so weird, Dei. No wonder all the foster homes and foster parents who took you in hate you."

"They just can't stand a wild child!"

Itachi playfully punched him. "You are wild." Deidara smiled. "That's what I'm known for!" Itachi gave Deidara a noogie then the bell to start class rang.

Hidan came into class late, along with Sasori. "What is your reason for being late?" The sensei asked. "No excuse." Hidan mumbled and took his seat. Deidara leaned over to whisper to Hidan. "What happened?" "I asked Sasori to wake me up and he forgot to-hell! He slept in!" Deidara sighed. "You can't trust him to stuff like that…" Sasori walked over and sat next to Deidara; Itachi was on the other. "Hey, cutie." Deidara blushed. 'What's up with Dei? He's never like this!' Itachi thought. "What's wrong? You never talk to me." Sasori turned Deidara's head and kissed him. Deidara wasn't making eye contact with Sasori.

Deidara turned his eyes back on the teacher and Sasori stroked his long, blonde hair. Itachi adjusted his glasses so they would glare-one of those benefits in being a nerd. 'Now they can't see that I'm looking at them' He thought. Sasori laid his head on Deidara's shoulder. Deidara gave a quiet moan, surprising Itachi. He then saw that Sasori was groping Deidara's leg. Itachi started to sweat. 'If he does something that Deidara doesn't like, that guy is dead meat…' Deidara looked over at Itachi, just a glance. Itachi seemed to be paying attention to the teacher; he couldn't see his eyes, so he couldn't be so sure. Sasori kissed Deidara's neck. 'Why here? Why now?' Deidara thought to himself. Instead of doing anything, he just went right along with what Sasori was doing to him.

The bell rang. "Deidara. I need to talk to you." Itachi said. They walked down the hall, across the school, that's where their next classes were.

"What is that guy to you?" Itachi asked.

"…" Deidara was looking down, embarrassed.

"I mean, I've never seen you act that way around someone! What's the deal?"

"I-I don't know! Ever since I've met him, I've acted shy around him and his friends!" Deidara started crying. "He-he kinda scares me! I'm like a pleasure toy to him!"

Itachi looked concerned. "Are you okay?" He asked. "I-I guess." "If he does something that you don't like in particular, just call me and I'll break his jaw." Deidara smiled. "I'm glad to have a friend like you, Itachi!"

"Um, Deidara. Can I tell you a secret?"

"You can tell me anything!"

"Well, don't tell anyone, promise?"

They pinky swore.

"What is it, Itachi?"

"I'm gay."

Deidara stared at Itachi in disbelief. "With WHO?" "My closest friend." Itachi replied, embarrassed. "Ki-Kisame?" Itachi nodded. "I'm so surprised, out of all my friends; I couldn't imagine you being like me!" "Here's the thing, Deidara. I'm not openly gay."

Deidara nodded, understanding. They got to their classroom; Kisame was there, holding the door open for them. He smiled. Deidara and Itachi smiled back. "Thanks, Kisame!" Itachi said sweetly. "Any time!" he replied. Kisame followed Itachi and Deidara into the classroom. The bell rang for second period. Itachi sat between Deidara and Kisame. "We have a new student," The teacher said. "Everyone meet 'Pein.' His real name is Yahiko, but he prefers to be called Pein. 'He looks incredibly self-confident' Kisame thought. 'His ears are pierced all over the place…' There was a barley noticed girl in the front of the classroom, she looked totally enthralled with this boy. 'He's sooo~ cute!' She thought. Pein smiled back at her. 'HE NOTICED ME!' Pein walked up and sat in the empty seat next to the blue-haired girl. "The flower in your hair is really pretty." She blushed. "Tha-thank you! I-I like your piercings!"

"My name is Konan!" she smiled. "You already know-I'm Pein. You wanna hang out after school?" "Sure!" The teacher's phone rang. "Hello? Yes. Yes. Excuse me? Another transfer student? Sure, send him right in!" The teacher hung up the phone. "Okay, class. We have another new student. You can come in now." A boy wearing an orange mask walked into the room. "HI! My name is Tobi and I'm a good boy!" The kid said. 'That guy definitely has problems…' Deidara thought. Tobi sat down on the other side of Deidara. "Hi! What's your name? I'm Tobi! What's your favorite color? I stayed up late moving last night! I like your hair!" 'ADHD...' Deidara thought. Deidara forced on a smile.

"My name's Deidara. How are you today?"

"I'm good! Can I call you Dei-senpai?"

"Sure, if you want to."

"Yaaay! Senpai! Can I be your friend?" Tobi hugged Deidara.

"Sure, if you want to."

"Wow! I've never actually had a friend before!"

Deidara started to worry. 'Did this kid have problems at his old school? Or s it just because he is too hyper for most people to handle? He seems just fine… just different.'

"Kisame and I are gonna go eat off campus." Itachi told Deidara when they met up after third period. "Okay, I'm gonna go have lunch with Tobi. I promised him I would." "Okay, catch you later!" Itachi and Kisame left and Deidara met up with Tobi.


End file.
